I dreamt of you last night

It all came to life

Pictures of you and me

Living together happily.

I woke up sad it wasn’t true

But remembered that,

although I want you

You don’t want me too.

Nothing I can do anymore

I ruined it long before.

You showed me the southern cross,

for words; I was at a loss.

You were kind and sweet,

I was blinded by your company.

You seemed to care more than the rest,

this is why I’m obsessed.

All I want is to feel loved and needed,

kill myself for you, I am bleeding.

You gave me everything,

I turned and ran.

Only now I can see what I’ve done,

what I’ve lost and what I’ll never have.

My feelings, I keep them locked up inside my broken chest,

The key only to be found on the ocean’s floor.

I’m not sure anymore, what it is that I’m looking for.

Any glimmer of hope I once had, now gone,

as you walk on.

Approaching six months since you left this world. It still doesn't seem real.

You were in my dream on Friday night. I woke up thinking you were alive, it was the worst feeling realising that it was only a dream.

Going to the footy without you doesn't seem right, you're meant to hold the record for good luck.

Whenever I'm in need of strength, I think of you.

Rest In Peace xx

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. 

You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure. 

But it doesn't matter - because we'll be together.

I hate letting people down. I've gotten to the point where I am trying to please everyone. 

I'm lost.

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, 

but it's very important that you do it."

The most beautiful and selfless person I have ever met. Your courage was incredible. I know you are always watching over us, and Mum has gained so much strength from you. I cannot believe you are gone. You are always in my heart and on my mind. You have left a part of you with us all, and we have become stronger. Nothing will ever heal the heart ache, but the beautiful memories we have with you will always remain. You are a true inspiration. You helped so many people in your life, you left your mark in this world. So many people love you, so many people miss you. I am honoured to call you family, and to have spent such great times with you. I will look after Mum, she has been so strong through this.

You are now in paradise, where this is no more sadness, weeping or pain, only peace and happiness forever. I love you.

Rest in Peace.

I cried with the shower this morning. The rain continues to pour. I sit here and wander what to do, or how to do it. Today, escaping won't fix anything. Everybody is tangled in their worlds, their problems, their secrets. Although not all who wander are lost, today, I am afraid, that I am lost. I can't focus, everything is spinning out of control. I am scared to think of what lies ahead. There is so much hope, but it is lying on the ocean floor. I need someone to talk to, but I don't know if there is anybody that I can tell everything. I feel like I need a release. Speaking out loud, about how I feel, makes everything seem easier, like when the words are released from my mouth, I am able to visualise them in proportion to the World. I don't exactly know what it is that I am hoping for, besides that I would like things to get better.